Let us take a solemn break, get out of our heads, snap out of our relationship fantasies, and realistically examine ourselves.
Is there a possibility that we are expecting too much from our relationships? Much more than can actually be given?
You know, the fascinating thing about Hollywood romance, is how appealing this movies are to our senses. Basically, Hollywood romance to most of us, stands for our idea of a perfect relationship, our dream relationship, and what we want our current relationships to be like, and when our relationships don’t meet this standards, there tends to be a problem, and so we break up and get together over and over, just looking for the ‘dream guy/girl’
I’m certain that after watching some real romantic movie, many people (especially the single ones) just sit there on the sofa thinking about their crush, or going through a list of girls or guys they know, pairing themselves, and wondering if there is a chance in heaven that they can have that kind of chemistry that they just watched in the movie. I mean, it’s just so beautiful watching Hollywood romance, nothing matches the experience we get when the background music plays softly, and the girl’s hair is flying to that invisible wind. (Have you noticed how the wind always seems to come out of nowhere, and at the right time like it had been watching and waiting!).
Then that moment when they just confess amiss tears that they love each other. Just so beautiful. A lot of people actually start crying just watching something like that! such perfect love right?
Now, let us remember that this reaction is the motivation behind these films in the first place, and if a romantic movie is not able to move people to deep emotions and sobriety, then that movie is a flop. Nobody comes out of watching a romantic movie laughing so hard, and nobody watches a romantic movie screaming out of fear. The worst is if you’re watching a romantic movie and all you feel is boredom, if that happens to you, just dispose of the movie.
You don’t expect these queasy feeling of love to evade you when you’re watching this sort of movie. You are supposed to enjoy it, admire it, desire it, but the mistake a lot of people make is when they carry this idea of fairy tale love, and apply it to their real lives, no, no, no, it doesn’t work that way.
The key is being able to draw a line between Hollywood romance (as I like to call it) and love in real life. For one, we are sure that no music starts playing out of nowhere when we are professing our love, and nobody’s hair starts to fly for no reason. The closing of eyes thing and then the slow motion as the heads advance? it won’t and doesn’t always work that way!
Most times people enter into relationships with very high expectations like they see in the movies, forgetting that these movies are scripted, and are designed to give us what we want. Life is not designed to give us what we want. Life is the movie that we’re not certain would end in a happy ever after, and when our hearts get broken, there is no assurance that the person would someday regret it and come back begging. Welcome to the ultimate movie called life.
Our relationships would flourish more if we stop setting high standards for it and expecting it to be the sweet roller coaster ride all the time. If he says something hurtful, in the movies he automatically knows he has hurt you, and he apologizes at once, but in real life, he might not even know except you tell him, so instead of you waiting for him to read your mind, just tell him straight up and get your apology.
In real life, it’s not every time you say those nice things to her, that you would expect her to just stare at you love-struck and speechless and then run to hug and kiss you and start crying. You just might meet the kind of girl that after telling her all the nice things, she would laugh and say thank you, not out of mockery, but because that’s how she is. Don’t get offended and wonder what’s wrong with her. Just remember you’re not acting a romantic movie, you’re in the real life.
Your partner won’t always have the perfect replies to your sweet mouth, and won’t always know what to say in return to when you say stuffs like “I want to run away with you” or “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you” your partner might lightly tell you to be patient, instead of looking at you with glistening eyes and giving more cheesy replies like “you would be stuck with me for life”
The person you helped out in the restaurant won’t automatically be attracted to you afterwards, deal with it.
No matter how you try, you can’t run in slow motion when you both are chasing each other, and when you run, you would definitely sweat on your clothes.
In real life, you two might not be the subject of public admiration, and heads might not turn anytime you enter a room. In real life, except you both have rehearsed already, you won’t just stand up and start dancing in perfect choreography to the song playing in the public restaurant or fast food, and if you do, the people might not clap; you might be irritating some people who are enjoying their solitude.
In real life, your partner must not know how to sing or dance! And if he does and does not sing to you in public, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, and when you tell her that you are leaving the next day to another continent on a short notice, don’t expect to get to the airport and see her standing there with baggage and all, ready to fly with you. If she tells you she has a lot going on at home and can’t follow you, smile and welcome yourself to the real life family.
Sacrifices are essential for relationships to blossom, but when some sacrifices cannot just be met, don’t let it be the only yardstick you would use to measure how much your partner loves you.
He might not have what it takes to leave some serious appointment at work that would redefine his career, just to come and watch you do your first musical performance, and she might not have have what it takes to sit down with you and watch football as a sign of her undying love to you.
Stop expecting much more than can be given.
Have fun in your relationships, do romantic things, spice it up, do the crazy, make unimaginable sacrifices, but always stay in the reality zone.
Also, never forget that the movies don’t show what happens after those couples get together. Now, that part we don’t watch is called the real life.
If we can learn to draw the line between movie love and reality love, our relationships might just get much better.
PS: when you wake up from sleep and haven’t washed your mouth, you have a bad breath. No matter how romantic movies skip this part out and make them get into intimacy right away, in real life, your bad breath would still be there waiting for you, and your partners nose would still be fully functional.