header image credit: views_of_kelz on IG
Love would never be enough and that’s a fact.
It is because of this understanding that I don’t buy the message that if he or she really loves you, they will or will not do some certain things simply because they love you
They might love, but still lack the willpower to effect necessary changes despite their love. This is because it isn’t always about love, but beyond.
One might love, but have their love overwhelmed by self-indulgences that they were unable to drop in the course of growing
Love in its singleness, would never be enough a force to create picture perfect, or to keep things moving in the way that it should be
To start with, everybody has a different idea of what love is and isn’t
So what exactly then is love?
Maybe love isn’t an isolated notion with an independent meaning; maybe the very meaning of love to each person, is woven into and derived from their experiences such that it is these experiences that shape their perception and expression of love which in turn shape how they view the world.
People’s interpretation and expression of love would always be subject to multiple factors, and if the very interpretation of love is relative and dependent, how then can we trust a notion as plastic as this, to single handedly stir the ship of our relationships at all times?
For example, it is the plasticity of love interwoven in culture amongst other factors that would cause a parent in Africa to frequently spank a child senseless, and another in Europe to always desist from laying a finger on their child, both actions inspired by what their understanding of love is, thanks to their predominant culture.
It is for this same reason that I believe that love generally exists, but pure and uncontaminated love does not exist in the realm of humanity.
In simpler words, I don’t believe human beings are capable of practicing and expressing true love.
Besides, what would be uncontaminated to you, would be blemished in the eyes of another because the nature of our very diversity as a race would make sure we hold love to different standards of appraisal
And even when we hold love to the same standard, the nature of our imperfect humanity would still corrupt the purity of love whenever we wield it.
If you love your partner, you will give them space and let them go VS if you love your partner, you will fight for them at all times.
If you love those around you, you won’t do what upsets them VS if you love yourself you would do what makes you happy even when it upsets those around you
The confliction, the confusion, the chaotic assemble of diverse opinions on the same issue!
Growing up, the church preached that if someone really loves you, they would never want to have sex with you outside of marriage, and if someone wants to have sex with you before marriage, it is because they explicitly do not love you.
Growing up, I met people and realized that there are those who would want to have all kinds of sex with you because they genuinely believe that sex and the intimacy that comes with it, is one of the forms through which love can be expressed at any point in time.
Let’s also talk about how everything is done and preached under the guise of love
Pain and happiness, destruction and construction, empathy, sympathy and ruthlessness all called love whenever it is most convenient or applicable, and yet with this insane chasm that goes on under the name of love, we bestow love enough confidence to hold our lives together all the time and to hold our relationships together?
Love in its singleness would never be enough to hold a relationship together
And personally, I think that the role that love plays in bringing and keeping two or more people together is highly overemphasized and overrated
But we don’t see this, because most of the time we are convinced that we know exactly what love is, at least to us, and it is enough to keep things in order.
But to you who strongly believe in your version of love, take time out and ask yourself: “what are the things shaping my idea of what love is?”
Because the idea of what love is, is always widely influenced by many societal elements – so influenced, that the presumption that you independently created your notion of what love is, might just be an illusion
Religion, culture, environment and immediate community, family, peers, social influencers and public figures, your country’s political state, matters arising, ethnicity, etc. etc. etc. are all constantly lending a voice into the construction of what love is and should be.
Which have you bought into? How certain are you of its authenticity?
Love would never be enough, so you need to start complimenting it with other forces in order to create a balance that will hold things to the center.
Other forces such as fear, rationality, common sense, discipline, understanding, information and knowledge, realism, pragmatism, convictions, principles, selflessness, ruthlessness, empathy, value system, vision, and many others that would serve as checks and balances to love’s unbridled nature
Hello beautiful people, thank you for reading this. It’s a beautiful Saturday.
Totally irrelevant information: do you know I totally do not eat any kind of swallow and soup except it’s a matter of life and death? I’ve never enjoyed the taste of eba and soup, but God will epp me. As a child I used to think it made me sophisticated, as an adult people doubt my heritage when they realize this
This article was written by Peniel Okwuchukwu
Connect with Peniel on Instagram: @peniel____
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