You sit in the comfort of your subliminal state, taking in your environment with utmost concentration. You are more tilted to the observant side of nature, at least for the beginning part of things before you spiral out of control.
You try very hard to resist the distractions that threaten to pull you out of your shell and force you to display your appealing nature. You feel it isn’t the time yet.
You focus solely on just knowing who and what you’re going to be dealing with for the next new phase of your life you have just entered.
In this state of utter observation, you watch as a lot of persons with like age, but not with like minds float around you in groups. You look deeply and you are able to see beyond their forced laughter and their conscious efforts to project a “cool” image to their peers who may not even be interested in the drama they are putting up. You watch as majority of teenagers try to fit themselves into a group of people, or just flock around with the intention of finding a “squad”.
You also observe as other teenagers desperately try to make friends, most of them trying to put on a facade of charisma that they would most likely discard as soon as they get comfortable in their environment; you know it’s a waste because it’s either you’re charismatic or you’re not.
You are distracted from your deep observation when you notice a group of people staring at you, trying to establish inviting contacts. You grin and turn away, thinking to yourself:
It’s not my turn to shine very bright. As bright as the sun
You continue your observation, gradually formulating another psychological theory that you might use with time.
You have always had this theory at the back of your mind about insecure securities, but as you sit there, with elaborate specimens of human beings displayed before you for research purposes, you confirm this theory of insecure securities.
You observe as they try to form and cling to groups amongst themselves, in order to feel secure in their environment. You observe as they struggle to be accepted into cliques, in order to find a place to harness self-esteem from.
You observe as this set of teenagers gradually, but unconsciously group themselves into two categories of leaders and followers.
Suddenly, it is like your eyes are being opened to a new discovery that has been hidden from you for a long while. You do not know when you start grinning broadly, but stop once you discover that some folks of the opposite gender are beginning misinterpret your smile to be an attempt at flirting.
Going back to the thoughts in your head, you extend your school of thought to the society, and as you think up instances upon instances, you discover that this behavioral tendency is common to the society in general.
Why do human beings cling to baseless things to derive self-esteem and confidence?
Why do teenagers depend largely on cliques, and opinion of others to feel good about their own selves?
Why do they make friends?
Is it for the purpose of companionship as it is supposed to be, or for the purpose of building a secure wall around themselves?
A wall that needs its own wall to be protected.
Why do people try to source for security from an insecure source?
This behavioral pattern begins to explain to you, the reason for the lack of a will in many people . You begin to understand why some people do not have a voice of their own, but instead, depend on their self appointed masters to call the shots for them.
In this moment of sober reflection, you begin to understand how and why religion has been successfully manipulated by some particular elements of the society to be an avenue to use in fulfilling their personal, irreligious desires at the expense of the individuals, who sacrificed their will on the altar of “follow follow ”
You speak to yourself; you call yourself and caution yourself not to do something against your own principles and convenience even when it is detrimental, simply because it fetches you the approval of people or a person.
You also warn yourself not to ever exalt any person to the status of god over your life. Nobody deserves that role, and nobody merits it.
You resolve to always know what you want, and strive for it, and not to ever wait on people to make you feel good about yourself. Not to rely on the comments of anybody, before you feel good about your beauty.
Derive your happiness from within.
The day crawls into night, and you still analyze this issue in your head, observing people around some more, and that’s when you see you, and then you, and another you.
Proudly on your own wave, and not dependent on anybody to measure your worth for you
You are not willing to sacrifice your principles and personalities in exchange for cheap companionship that is not even guaranteed to produce anything tangible in the future.
You respect you already. It is nice seeing someone with like age, and like mind.
You see you being confident and deriving happiness and self – confidence from within.
You realize it is the only authentic form of self esteem
Thank you for reading this, let me know what you think on the comment box.
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